Neil Strauss

February 14, 2012

IAM a seven-time New York Times bestselling author (Neil Strauss), AMA.

Hi Style,

What's your opinion of The Blueprint Decoded?

Have your feelings about Tyler changed since releasing The Game? Should I feel bad giving into his teachings?

THANKS!!

Read The Game and loved it. Two questions:

1. Why didn't you bang Courtney Love?

2. How would you use game in a small college setting, where everyone knows everyone else?

Hi Neil,

Have you ever had approach anxiety, if so how do you deal with it?

Do you still keep in touch with Courtney Love?

Dear Neil:

I'm impressed by your books, bust most importantly I read "The Game" over and over again. And I'm still so interested by the chapters that include PROJECT HOLLYWOOD.

My question to you is; Was Project Hollywood as intense as you described it, or was it flared up some for sake of the book?

Thanks!

What was the hardest book to write and likewise the funnest?

Love your work, The Game was brilliant

Everyone I talk to about Pick up has negative views towards it. They think it's bullshit. Why is Pick Up so detested and/or seen as something ineffective or without substance?

All of my friends ridicule me anytime I bring up any pick up related concept. Its gotten to the point where I've had to tell them you're right its all bullshit just so they stop making fun of me for it

Solution: Don't seek your friends' approval.

Remember, that in life, as you improve, especially if you get better than your friends at something, some of them will start to feel inferior and hate, just to justify the fact that they aren't succeeding like you are: whether with women, career, or life.

This is a great answer!

Hi Neil

Having read The Game and Emergency, what would you say is the most important life skill you've developed?

Thanks for taking the time to do this!

Hi,

I'm a mod at /r/pickup4dykes and am about to read The Game (it's on hold for me at the library right now - hope you don't mind me not paying for it!). Which of your books would you recommend for women interested in picking up women?

I asked this in the other part, didn't know if you didn't get to it, were still working on it, thought it didn't belong, or something. Anyway:

1. How is your relationship with Tyler Durden, Mystery, Ross Jeffries, Steve P? How are they doing, if you know? What do you like about each of the schools now, espcially RSD?

2. Pick up is now generally moving away from routines/indirect and towards just pure direct intent. How do you feel about this? What did you take away from routines?

3. What are some of the most interesting and extreme positive and negative reviews/responses of The Game that you've seen?

4. What are some routines that you're actually glad to know, as opposed to general conversation? For example, I thought the threesome thing was a pretty neat idea.

5. How have your views on building and maintaining relationships changed from the end of The Game to now? Alternatively, what would you from right now say to yourself from 7 years ago?

6. Any newer pua/coaches who's stuff you like?

7. Do you still hang out with Tom Cruise or Courtney Love? How have they been doing?

8. Are you still meeting people (like in clubs or wherever)? How were the PUAs back in the day, like realistically, how good were they and what stuff did they do right and differently. And have you gone out with newer puas?

What was one of your worst blowouts/rejections? [I.e. the girl just freaks out/goes weird/her friends just completely start attacking]

Cross posting this from the other thread since I think I got it in there too late.

Neil-

Some critics of you and the seduction community assert that there is an undercurrent of misogyny in the community. Do you think this criticism is warranted?

In your own experience with the community, do you think any of those practicing PUA had or have psychological issues?

I swear this is a true story. I went to a high school in LA and you crashed our prom after party (Universal Hilton). You ended up taking the virginity of a girl named Roseanna. You didn't call her afterwards. She cried a lot. Do you remember any of this and can confirm or have you been so knee deep in hollywood pooty for so long that this qualifies as a mere blip?

Hi Neil, thanks for taking the time to do this AMA. Got a bunch of questions but I'll put them all into one.

Are you still what that girl you ended up going in a relationship with that you mentioned at the end of your book The Game? Also how many women have you slept with would you say since you first got into the seduction game, a rough estimate?

hey there! iv recently got in to the idea of the Game. havent read it yet but am planning too once i'm free. what would you say to my inner debate over the Game being an admittance of defeat? I had a bad experience with a game-reader in venice who ended up bribing campsite cleaners for a girls details....this scared me

[deleted]

Hi Neil. [reposted from seddit]

I am a dude who read The Game, and it opened my eyes. Just wanted to say how absolutely much reading it changed my life. Absolutely amazing book.

Now that I am older in life, and having done PUA, I realized my shortcomings were not with women - it was myself. PUA, for me, is complete and utter bullshit now. Everything in it is just breaking it down to a level that makes dudes insecure about what they are doing, and just makes their problems worse. It did for me. I have had major successes in my life just by working on myself and trying to be happy. Women included.

I am not sure how often you coach on specific titles such as PUA anymore, or if it is more a self-improvement kind of thing, but how many people have you run into that have noticed the same thing? Do you feel as if the PUA community, as it is today, has lost its touch and just plays on the insecurities of men, or do you feel that it could still do some good for the awkward 18yr old that's never gotten laid and had a horrible childhood?

Thanks again, I am absolutely excited to read all the responses to this AMA! I have been passionate about this stuff for many years.

I am absolutely THRILLED you took the time to answer my question. Thank you.

It is a very catch-22 kind of deal - I wouldn't be where I am today without it, yet despise all that is out there right now. Alot of what I learned were 'outside' factors, things that you could do on the 'outside' of yourself. PUA to me right now, is just a big blanket for REAL insecurities - they NEED the satisfaction of approval from a woman, laying down the best line to get the hottest chick and saying all the right things using all the right professional 'techniques'. The problem, I think with alot of men, is that they are never going to be OK enough with themselves, to just admit that whatever they're doing, doesn't fucking matter. It is YOU. Only YOU know YOURSELF. PUA just breaks it down to a level that I believe most dudes will just find overwhelming. There will NEVER be a perfect line for a specific girl, and I believe that PUA perpetuates that and leads men on to believe that there is, which eventually leads to self-worth issues.

IMHO, most men go into PUA because they are looking on how to get better with women - that, itself, is an 'outside' factor. I would probably venture to say that almost all men go into PUA for this, but I don't know for sure - just what I've picked up on from the years of reading forum posts after forum posts after field report after field report. There could be the exception, a dude who just wants to be genuinely better with women. But, why would a dude who already has it (a 'natural'), get into PUA? They don't need it.

Thanks again for your thoughts. I have been mulling over this stuff for a few years.

I just wanted to chime in that your book was a life changing event for me as well. I read the book because I heard a fantastic interview you did on the Ron and Fez show, and once you explained how the book was far more about the lessons you learned from the PUA community than a how to manual, I was certain this was a book I wanted to read.

The lesson I learned by reading your book is that making connections with the right kind of women for me to connect with is "just" a matter of learning how to be a more confident more well-groomed more assertive more carnal warmer friendlier happier version of exactly who I already am. PUA techniques were an excellent stepping stone to help me reach that place.

After reading your book, I also read up on some of the "self programming" material available from Ross Jeffries as well as from IN10SE. Writing a list of affirmations and then reading it out loud while listening to a recording of those same affirmations one step ahead of where I was reading for several hours straight after smoking two bowls transformed me overnight.

I refer to a much more radical change than simply dating more. I have made great strides in my professional life in a relatively short span of time. I am more willing to acknowledge the faults I've had all along, because acknowledging those faults no longer brings the sense of shame that it used to. I love life, and I enjoy sharing that feeling with other people.

These days the closest thing to "material" I still use is a series of hooks that I came up with to steer from nearly any interesting subject right into sexually charged talk. I mention the "bad parts" of whatever subject is being talked about, segue into Sturgeon's Law which explains those "bad parts". Now we're near the subject of the golden age of sci-fi. It's time to bring up Stranger in a Strange Land. Bam! We just started talking about sex, and I get no creepiness on me for the subject change, because it was done in a classy manner.

Oh right. This is an AMA, so I should put a question here. Would you ever consider being a guest on Ron's new show "Ron Bennington Interviews"? I love his interviewing technique, and I'd be thrilled to hear what subjects would come up if you and he were sitting talking on the air for an hour.

[deleted]

Can we smell your finger..?

Hi Neil, just wanted to say I love your books, most of all the Game, Rules of the Game and Everyone Loves You When Your Dead, so many good quotes and stories in there.

I have a few questions from the field. Whats your general rule of thumb for "shit tests"? I'm not always the best a witty come backs.

Whats a good come back when a girl asks you to buy her a drink, take her out to dinner, or puts prerequisites for sex out there (ex. "I want the first time together to be special.... there should be chocolates, candles, flowers...")

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How do you feel about the monetizing of the pickup community?

How do you complain about the seduction industry when you charge $100,000 for a personal bootcamp? And when you charged thousands of dollars for a set of DVDs of you repeating this same advice that's freely available everywhere.

How do you justify that?

You marketed with stuff like this "The Forbidden LAS VEGAS technique" which turned out to be just an acronym for dressing well and having some attractive qualities, that everybody already posted about.

This needs an answer.

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Is there any way for a girl to go from a friends-with-benefits situation to something more serious?

To me this seems like the female equivalent of the "friend zone."

Whatup Neil.

Where / how do you come up with the cold reading personality games, i.e. "The Cube," or "Style's EV." I really like these types of conversation pieces.

You've met all kinds of people form all walks of life - who is the biggest out-and-out asshole?

what do you do for fun (outside of writing/interviews)?

Did you ever succeed in going 30 days without an orgasm?

As long as they're polite and ask relevant questions, even if they're difficult questions, then they're absolutely welcome in this AMA.

What is your stance on some PUA/seduction concepts like 'last minute resistance' (LMR), where a woman will resist advancing to sex. Many practitioners of PUA/seduction offer advice and 'tricks' on how to get a woman to stop resisting sex. How do you feel about that?

I asked a question elsewhere regarding your writing career but wanted to asked a second more specifically about your experience in the world of Game and courting in general:

How do you feel that the different social standards and expectations of men and the concept 'dating' system have impacted the average man's psyche in regards to finding and 'hitting on' women? More specifically, the western expectation of the man being the initiator, whereas in other parts of the world it is not uncommon to have women in the predatory position.

On a separate but somewhat related note, how much do you feel the western world's increasingly 'isolationistic' mentality (i.e. walking around with headphones in, not wanting to be bothered or disturbed) works against the idea of actually meeting someone in your day-to-day life and asking them out, or even having a conversation? Are future generations doomed to have to read The Game and similar instructional books in order to learn how to socialize and meet with people outside their immediate circles?

Hey Neil. I read The Game (good job, by the way, it inspired me to read Ulysses) and Emergency and took a trip with my friend out to California to try to find the cache you hid. I got to Big Basin and to the Lane camp site, but there were a couple clues we just couldn't figure out, and the others we did figure out seemed worthless without the rest. How close were we? Also, has anyone found it yet? And what's the reward for it?

The 25 paces east clue (or however many paces it was, I don't have the book in front of me) was especially frustrating, because 1) I couldn't figure out where to start pacing from, and 2) even if I could, I'm taller than you, so I could easily wind up a couple meters off mark. The other thing, how deep is it buried? Is that one of the clues I couldn't figure out?

Can peacocking be so outrageous that it ends up becoming detrimental to the game?

Care to recommend latest and greatest NLP books/sites/teachers?

Do you plan on having kids? If you do, how will you explain your involvement in the community to your daughter or son?

Hi Neil:

First off, I loved your books. I actually read Emergency first before I got into reading stuff about the pickup community so it surprised me when I found out you wrote The Game.

I know you still teach. What do you do for your students that have AA to no end? What do you say to them? Do you just force them to go and do it? What was your worst student with AA and did he get over it/how? Does the "just do it/3 second rule" still apply?

Hi, I've heard you often get a lot of hate from women and I just wanted to say that I actually appreciate what you did. Honestly, I prefer getting hit on by a guy who knows what he is doing than someone being creepy and coming close when he shouldn't. I love my boyfriend the way he is, but I also think reading The Game (amongst other things) just made him more confident. Confident guys are just easier to talk to... and it makes them sexy :)

Do you have any more stories about your travels through Pridnestrovia?

So how is it being the world most famouse astro physicist and playaaaaa..

How do you justify charging thousand of dollars for sets of DVDs where you just repeat the same concepts other people posted about only with some names changed?

Your responses make it seem like you are a Redditor and probably have been for a while. True? (And if so, why wait so long to do an AMA??)

1.) What inspires you to write?

2.) Are you approached to write books about Motley, Navarro, Manson, etc or do you approach them?

3.) What were your impressions of Howard Stern?

Hey Neil, thanks for writing the books you did. My best friend and roommate and I actually built most of our friendship from learning to wingman each other and reading your books.

The best opener we came up with was asking girls if they think taking someone to the shooting range is a good first date. Usually it was a pretty polarizing question, and most girls loved to talk about it. It also gave us a lot of insight into what type of girl they are when it comes to excitement. The girls that really wanted to go to a shooting range for a date were always easier to talk to.

What do you think of this opener? I've always wanted to ask you.

Do you ever think to realize that the fact that you were rich and famous helped you get laid, and not those cheesy pick up lines?

Oh Man, I loved The Dirt. When's the movie coming out?

Hello Neil. I have had the pleasure of reading your book(The Game) a couple of years ago, basically after one of the toughest emotional episodes I've been through since birth(22 here), and it came via friend recommendation.

Thing is, it was "prescribed" to me as relaxation and/or smiles-provider rather than "tips & tricks on getting back on your feet and losing the oneitis". I have to say, to this day, I still consider it an amazing, well written, compelling piece of literature combined with biography rather than a manual for crash-test dummies.

In simpler lines, I only wish to thank you for filling the world with a bit of positivism and the introduction of some re-thinking and reinventing thy self patterns.

But as it IS an AMA, I guess I'll pop a question as well :) So here it goes: Do you really think ANYONE can improve their AFC status? I always keep on thinking that it's a great means of self-improvement for the better looking part of the population, as opposed to less/or undesirable looking people(I kind of find myself swimming in this latter crowd, as I'm a 22 y.o who suffered 3rd and 4th degree burns on more than 30% of my body). What I'm trying to say is, people like me have to work ten-times fold to even get accepted in society, and it's something you can only WORK on, unless you sit on a shitload of money that can rebuild your traits through surgery.

What's there in-store for us? How do we find appreciation, human-connection and why not even love? :)

TL;DR: [appreciation and personal opinions on Neil Strauss work...]

Do you really think ANYONE can improve their AFC status?

What's there in-store for undesirable looking people? How do we find appreciation, human-connection and why not even love?

Hey neil, i am a huge fan of your work... I have been involved in the community for little over a year and curious what is the best thing to read/do to develop your dhv routine?

The Cube is a good starter. I modified it a bit from the book. Here's the version I do:

http://www.youtube.com/manofstyle#p/u/18/CABijXjd8bA

Then I like Style's EV.

But really all you need are a few things that make you are interesting and, here's the key, that you are genuinely interested in yourself.

Talk about crashing and burning on my part. I'll see myself out now.

Edit: Fixed

I see a false time constraint, the opinion ice breaker, placing value on oneself, and then general interest in an opinion.

This fucker probably just seduced Neil Strauss.

BTW neil - I've no questions for you. I loved The Game :)

Reddit spam filter doesn't give a fuck who you are.

Everyone is guilty.

I believe Neil will never answer this question.

How much of The Game is factually accurate vs. dramatization? I find it hard to believe you could capture all those quotes from all those people verbatim and then write about them later?

It is all accurate. What helped was: taking notes in the moment and immediately afterward. Also, at ProHo, once guys knew who I was, I started recording things. And I think in retrospect what really allowed me to put everything in there was the fact that when you were in the field, you were thinking, "I can't wait to go home and write a field report about this." So you were always immediately, while it was fresh, writing out a word by word, blow by blow, report for other guys.

I don't want to speak for him, but I think he's been sued multiple times for libel (and won all of the suits). That's only pertaining to the celebrities he dealt with though- I'm not sure about some of the other stuff.

I do know though that he's a writer, and he structured the book in a certain way to make it more dramatic. So he probably stretched the truth in a lot of instances, and probably straight-up lied in some cases. As far as certain quotes though, he was originally posting on asf (the original "seduction" forum), so he made sure to write down most of his experiences right after they happened. That's just how he rolled, since he really was just trying to tell a story about how the "seduction community" works.

Hi Neil, in The Game you strongly suggest that your dating life was a disaster before you met Mystery. That you were by all means an AFC and your stints as a writer following rock bands had done nothing to raise your status and get you laid. However I just recently came to know that you have admitted to having slept with 143 women before you ever met Mystery. It seems like a bit of a contradiction! What am I missing?

Do you think the motivation of a PUA is central to his game?

I completed the 30 day challenge just over a week ago. On day 4 I got a number and f-closed on day 5. This chick has now spent thousands of dollars on me but she's an obvious psycho. How do I get rid of her without risking her doing something crazy? BTW 30 day challenge worked for me. I am sarging 3-4 times a week now. Thank you Neil.

• Is your game good enough to AMOG Mystery?

• What would you say is the number one most important rule to keep in your head while sarging?

• What's your favorite opener you've ever used?

What's with no Kindle Addition of "The Game". I loved your book "Emergency" and have always meant to read "The Game" as well one of these days, so this thread reminded me that I need a book to read for an upcoming trip and I went to order it on Amazon but you don't have a Kindle edition available :( For a lot of frequent readers and travelers, no kindel edition is a deal-breaker. I just don't make room when I travel for paper books anymore.

In The Game you talk about spending time with Tom Cruise and going to the Scientology Org with him, and compare Scientology to The Game. Can you tell us more about your experiences with Sceintology? I think you said that they had tried to recruit you. Do they still try?

Hi Neil,

How do you feel the Pickup Artist show on Vh1 affected the seduction community? Also, did any of those people in the show go on to become teachers in the community?

I think it ended up getting a lot more people into it. And I thought it sympathetically portrayed the guys trying to learn it and, since the viewership was more women than men, actually helped in the end.

And I don't know if any of the guys teach it, but I know a lot of them are around and still practicing it. Great group of guys, and I see them as much as I can.

The toughest thing for them was they didn't get enough teaching on the show. The producers wouldn't let Mystery interact with them when the cameras weren't rolling, and the teaching time was really limited.

But thought the show was great and fun, both seasons.

Hi Neil , I just wanted to ask , even when the game works which I believe it does , it's hard however to feel comfortable start using it and it's even harder to just go outside and do thousands of approaches , to get to the right track . Do you believe that that's it's the absolute way to improve only by Sarging every night? Since many people don't have the opportunity to do that

Hi what is the best rape you've ever done??? Epic Bro-Five

How do you approach and engage a target who has her headphones on, or is absorbed in a book or newspaper without being obnoxious?

has anyone found your bug out mystery package that you buried in some random jungle yet? also, anymore clues to where this is!

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Hey Neil, I'm about to move to Waikiki in a couple weeks, how would you approach women in tourist areas? I suck with women.

I ruined a relationship by not realizing how important it was to me, and now I have a serious case of one-itis while she's moved on. How do I get her back, or get over her?

Hey Neil,

No idea if this has been answered (I tried to read everything, but sometimes things get lost in the shuffle on reddit), but I love how when you choose to write a book on something you seem to really immerse yourself into the subject you are writing about and it almost becomes a science project. After The Game and Emergency, what is your next (or current) immersion experience that we will all have the pleasure of reading about later?

Thanks Neil, huge fan! Hopefully we'll cross paths someday and talk bald hair care or something.

Cheers!

Hey Neil,

Thanks for doing this AMA. I'm a big fan.

Anyways here is my question: I am going to start a blog giving advice on how to be a PUA. If I used other pick up artists's methods, and repackaged them in my own words, would this be okay? For example if I introduced the idea of negs, or how to thread a conversation, or how to properly ask for a number, or used the term "target" would this be okay with you and other prominent members of the PUA community?

What was the best, most used piece of knowledge you gained from researching "Emergency" or said another way:

What technique have you employed most often in your life since learning it?

I know a musician in London called John who told me he was your cousin. Truth or BS?

Is it true that even the wise man dwells in the fools paradise?

[deleted]

I read The Game in my freshman year of college and it made a huge difference (some positive, some negative) in the way I interact with women. In the last year, I've done a lot of self-discovery and have recently entered a BDSM relationship with an amazing dominant woman. I'm her submissive and I give up control to her in almost all of our interactions, which is in direct contrast to what is described in The Game.

I'm happier than I've ever been, but I'm having some trouble integrating my experiences with pickup with my experiences as a submissive. There's no question that being alpha and dominant works to pick up girls at, say, a club or bar, but within the domination and submission community, being entirely submissive seems to work instead (maybe even better, since being submissive comes more naturally to me). Do you have any ideas how I could integrate these two theories into a consistent theory of how to interact with women?

Hey Neil,

I loved the book. I read it while I was very depressed and it gave me optimism. It encouraged me to acquire a lot of PUA material and spend a lot of time developing my "skills". I got great at it. I could go into bars and get laid almost every time (although to be fair, I would piss off or freak out a really good percentage of the women I approached. But in the end, it's all about volume.)

I ended up pissing off more women than I can count or remember. I alienated all my friends by acting insanely cocky. I could gradually feel myself becoming a sociopath as I started to look at women as targets to seduce (regardless of whether or not I was attracted to them) and men as targets to dominate. I could feel my personality changing and my soul dying. It was incredibly creepy.

2 months after hastily getting rid of all the PUA shit I am still trying to deprogram. What is your endgame here, Neil? Is it just to exploit desperate, lonely people by taking their money or are you actively trying to start a cult? The people I knew who got really into The Game got pretty detached from reality and their social calibration got completely mangled in the long run...

There are so many PUA programs out there. Home study courses, seminars, bootcamps, etc...(including yours, of course). Objectively, which programs are worthwhile and which are totally bogus? There is so much misinformation out there, it's impossible to tell if you're going to be wasting your money or not.

Hey Neil,

Have you ever made peace with Tyler\Papa? Has your opinions on anyone you wrote about changed?

Also, what do you think of pick up post 2005, like the prevalence of "natural game," good bad or neutral?

You were never forever alone, faggot. In The Game you mention early, pre-"Style" relationships and sexual encounters.

How can I create a cool social circle? How can I be the leader of my social circle?

Thank you for doing an AMA and I hope you can respond to this question Neil. I discovered The Game at a crucial time in my life. I was on the verge of extreme depression. With that stated, your book perhaps has made the biggest impact on my life so far. I addressed the real reasons for my problems (sexual repression, relationships with my sisters that affect my relationship with women) and I am in a much better place right now. Your book is an inspiration.

I'm currently reading NLP, Books on Magic, and a whole list of self-improving books that had been recommended by the community. I'd like to try pick-up, but do you know of any resources where I can freely access the same information you did when you were doing this? I do not wish to rely on pick-up, but rather integrate it with my personality. I had always been that fun socially successful kid who would be in girls pocket rather than their pants; it's just much harder for me to build sexual tension than rapport.

Question Could you imagine a life where you did not get involved in PU? If you can how do you think you would feel knowing the things you know now?

Thanks again!

Ive looked in to the PUA community myself and really found that the sort of stuff RSD was teaching (non-scripted routines) was really the most useful. What is your relationship with Tyler Durden/ RSD since the writing of "The Game?"

[deleted]

Thank you for doing an AMA and I hope you can respond to this question Neil. I discovered The Game at a crucial time in my life. I was on the verge of extreme depression. With that stated, your book perhaps has made the biggest impact on my life so far. I addressed the real reasons for my problems (sexual repression, relationships with my sisters that affect my relationship with women) and I am in a much better place right now. Your book is an inspiration.

I'm currently reading NLP, Books on Magic, and a whole list of self-improving books that had been recommended by the community. I'd like to try pick-up, but do you know of any resources where I can freely access the same information you did when you were doing this? I do not wish to rely on pick-up, but rather integrate it with my personality. I had always been that fun socially successful kid who would be in girls pocket rather than their pants; it's just much harder for me to build sexual tension than rapport.

Question Could you imagine a life where you did not get involved in PU? If you can how do you think you would feel knowing the things you know now?

Thanks again!

When are you going to come to MN and help me sarge some fluzies?

I have what I think is a great idea for a novel floating around. How does one go from overall idea to finished novel?

Is there any hope for introverts who want to learn game without becoming an extrovert?

Hi Neil! Thanks for taking the time to do this, you are easily my most influential author with The Game and Emergency. Both those books changed my life for the better by giving me more self-esteem and helped prepare me for the unexpected. In Emergency, i believe you said the most useful course you took was the one with Tom Brown Jr, have you taken any more courses since your standard? If so what have they been and do you plan on visiting the primitive camp again in the future for further training? And if not TBJR, what are you doing to prepare for an emergency?

You have to co-author a book with Twain, Vonnegut or Hunter S. Thompson. Who do you choose and why?

I'm currently re-reading 'Emergency". Great book, but I have two questions:

1) Is the information about passports and alternate citizenship still good? Is St.Kitts still as easy to get into?

2) Have you met Tim Ferris? I remember reading somewhere that you have.

Read The Game a while back and loved it, some incredibly deep material for a book about getting with girls!

Always wanted to ask: Does Tom Cruise actually have all his shit together like you portray it in the book? Guy seems like a badass Ghandi or something.

I want to thank you Neil for helping me on my journey to be a more socially intelligent person. What is your favorite attraction game?

I think games are more for building a bond, laughter, and connection, fun, DHV--rather than directly for attraction. That said, I love the 5 Questions, the Cube, and all the bar cons and bets. Always learning new ones, just to keep it fun and a challenge for myself.

Neil

The Dirt is hands down IMO the best rock book ever written. What was is like getting the stories from those guys? How are they as people as opposed to the persona (Tommy surfer dude for example)?

You can do a Dirt-esque book on any band, living or dead. Who do you pick?

[deleted]

As someone who is somewhat famous, who interviews a lot of famous people, what are your thoughts on the concept of fame? What is it all about?

Question 2: What are your thoughts on late capitalism?

Hey Neil!

I used to frequent the sosuave community a while back, and I'm wondering if you've ever heard of read "The Book of Pook", and if so, what you think about the book.

Btw, your "seduction is dead" post on your blog a while back really articulated what is truly wrong in the seduction community very well, and I'm really surprised you got a ton of backlash for it. I guess that's normal considering you're attacking their egos on such a large scale.

Cheers!

I've been in the pickup community for about 3 years now, the game is one of the first books I read once I 'joined'. However, why did you oversell method's ,routines and all that bullshit. We all know picking up chicks is about confidence and you get confidence by fixing your life and facing your fears. Don't you feel you put half the people that read your book on a wrong start, sometimes paying thousands of dollars for things that aren't required or necessairy like bootcamps....?

what are your opinions on alcohol and drugs? and what do you think about the journalist Hunter Thompson? I can imagine you take some inspiration from his hands-on style of journalism.

Emergency was such an incredibly ambitious book. How did you even begin such a project? In all the time it took to put together, were there times you just wanted to scrap it or were you confident about how it would develop?

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Hey Neil, If you had to pick just ONE of your favorite PUA's who would it be and why? Any recommendations on picking up celebrities? Back in the day I used to run with Gypsy and Bravo. Ironically back in the day my friend and I also crashed a "fiming" of the vh1 show by mystery by repeatedly blowing out Simeon Moses (we were slightly mad at mystery the community was being shown to the world). Mental notes; I think Matador is gay. Jdog is the best pua I've seen in field.

No questions, I just wanted to thank you for your book The Game. I read that and went from being consistently friend zoned to actually getting girls interested in me and now having a long term relationship. You rule man, keep up the good work.

Hello Neil. I'm a giant fan. These books changed my life.

My question is, I always have a massive problem explaining the concepts in the game to my friends. That is their first reactions seem to be "OMG THIS IS EVIL". You seemed to have encountered this when you were on the view. But by the end of the interview the hosts seemed to be more receptive to the idea of the game. Is there something I can say right away to skip this doubt phase or is it just something I used to (haha).

Would you do the Joe Rogan podcast?

You should publish a book where you teach people to make mixtures of drugs that simulate human emotion. Then they can give them to women they want to attract. Ultimately, you're just getting these women to a point they want to get to, man. And your ability to make the drugs is just, like, an extension of your personality.

1. what did you learn from your breakup?

2. how has your game evolved beyond annihilation?

Could you respond to the idea that the whole concept of game is a disservice.

One person encouraged to be manipulative and dishonest to get what they want while they never actually express their character. Being manipulative becomes a tool in their life and they slowly become an asshole.

The other person is, more obviously, victimized by the deceit.

So is this material manipulative? Of course it is. Every great romantic comedy begins with some sort of manipulation—even if it’s just a woman purposefully dropping something in front of the guy she wants to meet or a man pretending to be more successful than he actually is. As human beings, it’s our nature to manipulate. Even a baby crying is trying to manipulate his parents for milk or affection. The real question you should be asking when meeting a man isn’t, “Is he manipulating me?” but “Is he manipulating me with good intentions or bad ones?”
And if his intentions are good, you know what to do.

My BF read a ton of pick-up stuff. Honestly, it made him a better man

1) After reading The Game, I still want to start the process--maybe of not becoming a great PUA, but improving my interactions with women. Does the online community still exist, AKA where should I start "my journey" and interacting with great PUAs.

2) What's your favorite animal

Hi Neil,

I created an account just to comment here... I just want to thank you for writing the Game and changing my life. As a young immigrant to Canada, I found it hard to penetrate into society and was developing a depressed outlook on life.

And I was so so in the women's department, I'd have women hit on me and it would go over my head, I read the game 2 years ago and thought I've messed up multiple pick ups, the woman that I bought roses for this morning is the girl of my dreams.

My question to you is: Do you think the game and the community have ruined a lot of good men out there? Opening doors, buying flowers, etc, these are all stereotypical nice guy things that lead to the friend zone, but if done right, lead into great relationships. I've seen the Game improve the lives of many, but make others bitter men who play women... they quit doing all the 'nice' things, the game has overtaken their lives. We need to strike a balance somehow, and our generation needs better male role models. What are your thoughts on that, and how we could combat this?

Oh well, enough of my rant, hope you read this.

Thanks anyways bud!

What do you think of the British author David Mitchell?

Not yet she doesn't

I read 'The Game' followed almost immediately by 'Emergency'. Both books impacted me personally by becoming more confident and aware of how many things I would still like to learn. Thank you for going out and having those experiences which of course makes me want to have them as well.

Did anyone ever find the hidden stash from Emergency??

Jesus. I had no idea this sort of ridiculous thing existed.

"In some instances, an AMOG can be befriended by paying him a compliment or by giving general respect. In this case, he may give the PUA permission to game any girls in his group, as long as she is not his girlfriend."

Most of the 'psychology' in this community seems equally focused on playing off both male and female insecurities. I can't believe anyone takes this seriously.

I just need to say Thank You, you clever devil. I am no longer a PUA, but your advice helped me transition out of that godforsaken, desperation that I called the friend zone, and into a committed relationship where I beat out many other suitors by being the most magnetic.

Hope you read this, dont care if you dont. Either way, you are truly a guiding force. Thank you.

To depart from the PUA questions - I have not read the Skrillex interview and a quick search showed up with nothing - When/where will it be posted? How was Skrillex in person, anything really interesting to note? On that note - who is the most interesting person you have interviewed?

What's your opinion on brutal honesty? eg: Girl - "Do i look fat in this dress?" Guy - "Yes"

Neil, I have read your book, read forums and contributed to the community. Now this may seem all fine and normal just a guy experimenting. I'm fifteen, do you find it an issue that kids as young as I have access to this information and use it daily?

What's your love relationship situation now?

What's your preferred approach these days for meeting women? Do you still champion false time constrints and opinion openers?

I previously your suggested routines, but I've since found that just very simple and direct works best for me. In fact, all of the boring things Mystery said not to ask ("interview questions") seem to work just fine in normal environments. "Hi, I thought you were cute and I wanted to meet you. So what are you doing at the mall today? Where are you from originally? I've got to get going, but I was wondering if you'd like to meet for a drink sometime? Cool, let's trade numbers then."

Hey Neil, big fan of the book. There's one subject I haven't seen a lot of questions about yet, and that's about the more sexual part of the game - fulfilling that exciting promise you set at the start of a set.

You mention that aside from experience, there's two occurrences that helped you massively. First was getting trained by a number of 'experts' (the way you describe it makes the ordeal sound near occult), second is your usual M.O.: Delving into books about the subject, and trying it out live.

So my questions to you;

• Do you mind going in a little more detail on the training you received and
• Is there any literature you've found/written that you can recommend?

Thanks in advance, in case you manage to make it to this question.

Do you miss your "glory days" when you were at the peak of your game and single?

Do you still read Ulysses? Or did that habit die?

I've not actually read it yet, would you recommend it?

Hey Neil! Any plans on a Stern interview? If you do, please mention Reddit!

Oh god here come all the losers of Reddit out of the woodwork.

Hey Neil,

Loved "The Game" thought it was a fantastic read. I haven't got into the PUA community since it seems like everyone and their mother has their "own" system and techniques so its hard to sort through the bs. Always appreciated the people who encourage inner game as opposed to a bunch of routines. Since you're a lot of people's inspiration, who and what inspires you nowadays?

Thanks for doing the AMA!

just wanted to share a little pearl of wisdom from my boxing coach - he told us "look guys, there's no single right way to be a boxer - if you're hitting your opponent more than he's hitting you, you're doing it right! i'm just showing you what works best for most people".

thought that was applicable to pick up among a lot of other things.

Hi I would like to know as a PUA, what happens when you get older? Do you still go to bars and clubs and run jealous gf routine? Does Mystery still perform magic tricks for young chicks in bars?

I always think there should be a good "exit". As men get older (eg. in their mid 30s), hitting on a 20 yo girl feels weird, and it is hard to be attracted to women at your age. Wouldn't this be depressing?

Has there been a good exit for you, Mystery, or any other PUA you know?

Do you still keep in touch with Mystery?

What were your feelings when he landed The Pickup Artist on VH1?

What are 3 good mini-adventures/dates that have been successfully used by you in the past? I'm looking to create some new experiences.

Do you feel like women have started opening you open more with time, or do you still feel like you need to make more of an effort than a women to get her? I enjoy game, but afraid to be "chasing" my whole life, and want to get to a point where women open me. Was wondering if/when that happened in your evolution and whether you think that's the right or wrong mindset ...

Thanks, Neil. Loved 'The Game'. Not a PUA, more like a PUH(obbyist), but I appreciate your insights all the same. Rock on, man.

Hi Neil, big fan. I recently read Emergency and thought it was great. I often dismissed these survivalist types as nuts until I thought how I'd want them on my side if things went to hell in a handbasket. 2 Questions: 1) How has your opinion on firearms changed since you wrote the book? 2) In your opinion, do you ever see a total collapse of society where you will need to actually uncover your caches and utilize your training?

How can you justify continuing to push neuro-linguistic programming when all serious science has found it to be entirely without merit or evidence?

To back this up:

A research committee working for the United States National Research Council led by Daniel Druckman came to two conclusions. First, the committee "found little if any" evidence to support NLP's assumptions or to indicate that it is effective as a strategy for social influence. "It assumes that by tracking another's eye movements and language, an NLP trainer can shape the person's thoughts, feelings, and opinions (Dilts, 1983). There is no scientific support for these assumptions."

The term "Neuro-linguistic programming" has been characterized as pseudo-scientific. Witkowski (2010) writes that "NLP represents pseudoscientific rubbish, which should be mothballed forever." Roderique-Davies (2009) states that "neuro" in NLP is "effectively fraudulent since NLP offers no explanation at a neuronal level and it could be argued that its use fallaciously feeds into the notion of scientific credibility". Witkowski (2010) also states that at the neuronal level NLP provides no explanation at all and has nothing in common with academic linguistics or programming. Similarly, experimental psychologist Corballis (1999) in his critique of lateralization of brain function (the left/right brain myth), states that "NLP is a thoroughly fake title, designed to give the impression of scientific respectability".

According to Witkowski (2010), NLP also appears on “the list of discredited therapies” published in the Journal of Professional Psychology: Research and Practice. ... [I]t is listed as “certainly discredited” in *Evidence-based practices in addiction treatment: review and recommendations for public policy (Fala et al. 2008 as cited by Glasner-Edwards and Rawson, 2010).

Thanks for teaching me how to pick up girls. Even though I gotta dress like a douche, but hey, it works.

You're book really helped me improve myself and I would like to thank you for that. I typed out this whole long question for you but then realized that what it boils down to is: I don't want to change who I am just to pick up women. Cocky-funny, for example, is just not me. During your experience of evolving into a pua (and I don't mind if your friends answer here) was there ever a time when you felt uncomfortable with you had become? And if so, how did you deal with this?

Neil, you've gotten me laid many times (I'm now engaged).

I hooked up the first time I tried with a woman whose family owns a chain of Mercedes dealerships around Atlanta (first try). Thanks! I didn't follow everything written, but it was good to understand the woman psyche a lot better.

I remember listening to you on Howard Stern, any updates with you and your girlfriend? (He revealed on air that his girlfriend had problems getting wet if I remember correctly)

Emergency was a good read but you should have spared the goat.

Hey Neil, just wished to say that I loved reading "Everybody Loves You When You're Dead". I think that its message is quite relevant with regards to Whitney Houston's recent passing. I was wondering what your thoughts are on the phenomena of celebrity, having hung around with so many notables, how do you think it generally affects the existence of people trying to live so-called everyday lives within the context of being famous? Also I'm curious as to what you thought the best album of 2011 was. Hope you're well.

Neil, thanks for doing the AMA. Also a personal thank you as I have written you a couple of emails that you have responded too personally. Very cool.

Question about a "quality problem".

I really don't have trouble attracting women at this point. Matter of factly, it seems to almost get me into trouble more often than not without me even trying anymore.

The problem becomes when I end up meeting a girl I actually think is pretty cool. I wouldn't say I really do anything differently. I act pretty much the same, the sex is still great etc. But it seems as though lately, I can't get a girl to register much of an attraction to me beyond something purely sexual.

It's kind of a "Welp, that was really awesome, but I'm going to go back to my ex bf now." This happens so often it's maddening. Any thoughts?

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Hey Neil, I asked about bacon yesterday but there doesn't seem to be any. I am disappoint.

However, of all the stars you've interviewed which one was the coolest. Like, the sort of person you wanted to be?

Hi Neil, I remember hearing you mention that you would be interested in meeting the guru of Long Term Relationships. I have been practicing elements of the pick up arts in my marriage and I wanted to introduce myself. I am curious to know if you have explored or have further insight on modified techniques for supporting Long Term Relationships. Happy Valentines Day :)

Also, Skrillex recently commented that his favorite song was Flim by Aphex Twin. This seemed to cause a backlash among his fans who were disappointed the song did not feature a sick bass drop. Can you comment on the dialectic tension, if any, between Skrillex and his fans?

Hi Neil! As a girl who was trying to improve myself at the same time that "The Game" was popular amongst everyone I knew, I read it, and realized that my whole life I've been brushing off people who were interested in me as some sort of mix-up. Coming to that realization had a big impact on where I am romantically now, so I just wanted to say thanks.

enough about "the game" that book was meh, the real book is "Emergency."

read the book and really enjoyed it. Have you done any more preparation or learned any new tricks? could you tell some stories from your urban survival lessons? any tips on where to learn more? (besides conventions in mexico)

whats your opinion on David DeAngelo's skills? Have you ever saw him infield?

If you and mystery are so great, how come you guys can't keep from getting dumped by your girlfriends?

Is there no magic tricks to counteract getting told "We need to talk" by your GF?

Niel, you are the man!!! Thanks to you and Mystery, I have had more female ass than a public toilet seat in times square. I made it my duty to share the your secrets, although evolved, to the less fortunate. RESPECT!! Long live the game!!!

Hi Neil,

I'm not a PUA (and hope never to be), but am reading The Game with a grain of salt per page, no offense, for sake of perspective.

I've run into a specific situation and would appreciate Celebrity PUA advice: I really hit it off with a girl recently, but slightly drunken and enjoying the moment, I actually forgot to "close" as you'd call it. HOWEVER, her best friend/roommate somehow slipped me her number! I want to pursue girl #1 without offending girl #2, but my only lifeline is girl #2's phone number. Brief advice?

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You mentioned how you read about cold reading, massages and many other skills. Which books do you think were the most useful for progressing as a PUA?

How cool was it being in the video for "Sexx Laws"?

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hey man, cats or dogs?

small dogs or big dogs?

wolves or bears?

giraffes or zebras?

lions or tigers?

vampires or werewolves?

zombies or ninjas?

Hey Neil,

How did you get into writing? How did you land your gig at RS? What are some good books you recently read?

I'm on my phone between classes but hopefully this won't get buried:

How did you get started in journalism? How did you make your way to the Rolling Stone? Any advice to a soon to be college grad looking to (roughly) emulate your career as a journalist/author?

How big is your penis, and does it help?

Just wanted to say thank you. I never struggled with women because I was cocky funny, but reading the game and then going to Lair meetings I started to internalize certain things and meeting a lot of people there helped show me what I didn't want to be like. Whenever we go out we focus on having a great time and applying certain aspects that we learned. One of the mistakes I see new people do is just focus on 100% on material they have learned and they fail because they are not having a blast and women definitely see that. Also, I look forward to reading your upcoming interveiw with Skrillex. America.

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What kind of toilet paper do You use?

Have you found another woman that likes the "indents" in the side of your head? Do you still surf?

Hi Neil --

If you could tell everyone who read The Game just one additional fact using what you've learned since then, what would it be?

Thanks -- great answers, so far =)

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What's the status of SLA? Do you still run it? Never saw you posting on the private foruns. I've subscribed for a month and the missions seems to be old and the most of the coachs are no longer in SLA(like Bravo). Besides the Stylelife Challenge 2012 (congrats on this one, I liked it), I haven't see anything new. Even the FR are pretty same old-same old. So, I'd like to hear from you were is it going. Also, I'd love to know some nice books like the cube, and stuff. Ah, I forgot to say... thank you for saving me from the afc life (and thanks for trying to understand my crappy and creepy english).

If you had to pick a celebrity to be your wingman, who would you choose?

Neil, I don't have a question. Just wanted to say fuck the haters and thank you for helping me work on my inner-self. That is all.

After The Game and Emergency, are you working on another story/book in that writing style?

Hey Neil,

Just wanna say thanks. Your AMA has been up for a while now, so this is probably gonna get buried, but it's worth saying. Reading The Game was a big part of what started my journey into self-development, and by extension, happiness and confidence. Now I know these compliments on a book from seven years ago probably get old, but it was extremely important to me.

So, yeah.

Thanks, Neil. You're a good guy.

Love,

Wolf.

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I read the Game in 2010 and really liked the story. It made me chuckle because back in 2004 a girl did the cube routine on me and afterward I remember wanting her to go away. I ended up banging her 5 years later.

My question: was there any erotic tension between you and Heidi Fleiss? I wonder what type of men she's into.

repost at your request because you probably lost it- I completed the 30 day challenge just over a week ago. On day 4 I got a number and f-closed on day 5. This chick has now spent thousands of dollars on me but she's an obvious psycho. How do I get rid of her without risking her doing something crazy? BTW 30 day challenge worked for me. I am sarging 3-4 times a week now. Thank you Neil.

She is obsessed with trying to make me her BF. I have made it clear that I am dating other women.

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Is it strictly coincidence that you're here on Valentines day?

Or are you not so subtly telling me "I'm the one who got you laid today, keep buying my books"

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Personally, I think Tyler has benefitted from the "Bad-Boy" image that he's gotten.

I posted in seddit, but this seems to be where you're hanging out now, so I'll repost:

• Entouraging - any horror stories? I've got a hard time transitioning into a friendship with girls I meet, and I'm wondering if you/anyone else has advice with regard to that.

• How does a fledgeling PUA reconcile the technique and strategies outlined by someone like you and the "anti-game" mentality professed by someone like sleazy?

Here are some examples of sleazy's work:

The Final Word on Indirect Game (Hopefully)

Pick-Up is not a Video Game

Another example of this "anti-game" mentality:

How Sleazy is a Good Example.

I honestly thought it was more pervasive than just Sleazy, but every link I remember ends up being from him. Huh. Either way, it really impacts me, what he writes, and I'm not sure how to deal with the disparity.

This is my first reddit post ever...

Do you have ADD?

I really loved The Dirt. Very entertaining book even though i'm not a fan of Mötley Cruë.

My question is, what you wrote is obviously only based of memories from the band members, who according to their own account have been drunk and drugged out of their minds 24/7 since birth, how accurate do you think their recollection of memories actually are?

I might be late to this, but how would you apply skills you gain in pua community towards other areas like a job search or building artistic skills?

somehow ended up as the international spokesperson for pickup artists after writing The Game

sold 365 copies of The Annihilation Method at $4000 a piece.

Kern is a brilliant marketer and I hope after his take you were left with a cool gross $mil. But the "somehow" reaks of a bit of insincere modesty when you know the whole affair has given you a permanent shit eating grin second to only Hugh Hefner's. Not that there's anything wrong with that. You brilliant bastard.

OK, fine, I'll actually ask a real question which is probably the one you're dying to answer and the real reason you're here: when's the movie coming out?

Anyway... "Respect." The book did change my life for the better.