Jose Canseco

April 18, 2013

I am Jose Canseco, famed steroid user and former MLB player. Ask me anything.

Hey guys, Colin Means here, producer of Jose Canseco's new podcast 'Canseco Knows Best'. Jose will be here at 12 pm est, and I'm sure there won't be any shortage of interesting questions, or answers for that matter.

The first episode of the show debuted today. You can listen here.

You will find out shortly that Jose is indeed as eccentric in real life as he is on the internet. I know there was a thing with Morgan Freeman where someone was apparently posing as him, but I can assure you that the real Jose Canseco will be answering your questions.

If you guys don't troll too hard I think Jose may come back on a regular basis, but do what you must.

Twitter: @JoseCanseco, @colinmeans

EDIT: Here is Jose tweeting out the link:

EDIT: I'm on the phone with Jose walking him through the login steps, he'll be here shortly.

EDIT: Jose's taking a break, but he's enjoying your questions so he'll be back later. Keep firing away.

Jose, you once said "Time travel is possible. Will explain later"

Can you please explain your theories on this?

time travel is possible but u can only go back in time through ur dreams I do it all the time.learn more about dream control I have masterd it

You just don't have enough jigawatts.

your mother thinks I do.i just jigawatted in her

Aw shut up your just cranky

i know u r but what am i

Who was the best power hitter in the 90s that you don't think used Steroids? In other words, who would have been the guy everybody talks about if it wasn't for the Steroid era. Would it be Griffey JR? Who else comes to mind?

read the book juiced

It's Griffey and it is not even close. Anyone who says differently needs their head checked.

I agree I hope Griffey was not on steroids

Jose, you once asked your twitter followers for a pro-Bono attorney for help getting your chandeliers back. What ever happened with this?

nothing they kept my chandeliers the law sucks ,I should have burned that house down.shit maybe I

You can't afford an attorney?

they r very xpensive also they r masters of legal xtortion

To ask you your own question, "Would you swallow your dogs throw up to save your best friend from dieing?"

i like dog throw up very nutritiuos

Do you think Pete Rose should have a life time ban from baseball?

best hitter ever they r using him as an example ,stupid bud selig

Depends. How long does a life-time ban last?

well if your a fly one

Do you think taking steriods was worth it? It allowed you to become one of the best players in baseball (including the extremely rare 40 and 40), you made a bunch of money, gained celebrity, and then once the truth came out you wrote a book and got a lot of press for telling on everyone else taking steriods. Other than the tainted legacy, no chance of making the hall of fame and potential health risks, couldn't you say it was a good decision for you?

steroids cost me millions ,not worth it because cocaine ,liquor,marijuana and other drugs r more accepted than steroids even though they can help u

How does it feel to be a real-life Kenny Powers?

that was loosely based on my life i had some input on the show

What would be more embarrassing: a baseball bouncing off your head in the outfield; or charging the mound against Nolan Ryan and ending up in a Texas-strong headlock while getting pummeled?

charging the mound as nolan throws a ball and it bounces off ur head into the crowd while knocking u out

Jose, do you have any old t-shirts that I can have, not borrow, have? I will pay for shipping.. I would like to wear your old shirts while I'm lifting weights and also making love with my wife.

Hug for u!

i am wearing an old underwear with poop stains will that do

How did you and Rickey Henderson being teammates for so long not tear a hole in the space-time continuum? Ancient gravity?

warp speed thats how fast he is he outran time

What did it feel like when that ball bounced off your head and over the wall, physically and emotionally?

your girlfriend rubbed my head after,so physically and emotionally i was

Hey Jose, life long Blue Jays fan here, I was wondering, why did you change your number 3 times during the 1998 season?

thats all they had at the time

Jose, someone in another thread from /r/baseball posted this story about you earlier. Can you confirm this happened, and what was your reaction? What made you feel that you could cut lines just because you were a professional athlete?

True story. About 15 years ago I was in the Mall Of America with my brother and we decided to eat at Hooters on the 4th floor. In the Hooters there are some "windows" in the dining area that are open to the mall's hallways of the 4th floor. My brother and I were waiting to be seated when some guy cuts in between the two of us and says something like "I don't need to wait in line." Then a hostess comes and says we can seat ourselves. My brother and I sit on one side of the room, and this douchebag sits on the other side. My brother and I are looking at him and going, "shit, he looks familiar." Then my brother is like, "Wait! That's Jose Canseco." The Rays were in town to face the Twins at the time. I was like 'damn you're right.' We need to confirm, so we asked our waitress, "Hey, is that Jose Canseco over there? Cause he was an asshole in line." And she goes, "you know what, he was an asshole to me too. Let me go find out." She comes back after investigating and goes, "Yeah, it is Jose Canseco. How cool!". So my brother and I realize we're alone in thinking this guy is a douchebag (the waitress said he was an asshole but then thinks it's cool that he's there?) So we devise a plan to flip him off as we leave (I was 14 at the time, my brother was 21). I'm in, let's do it. So we eat, and as we're walking out we're getting ready to flip him off. But my brother chickens out at the last second. But I'm like 'fuck this, I'm doing it.' So we're walking out, through the mall past those open windows and I go, "Hey! Jose Canseco!" And he looks over at me and I go, "FUCK YOU!" and flip him off. Then my brother and I quickly got on an escalator out of there. He was my favorite ball player as a kid. A shame to find out he was douche (at that age, anyway). tl;dr: I told Jose Canseco to fuck off after he barged his way through the line at Hooters.

This story was spoken by /u/steinamo

your a dam liar

I'm more interested in why a millionaire professional athlete was eating at Hooters.

its not for the food u moron

Also, great breast meat.

lol.yes your the man

Did Shaq actually call you a frosted flake?

i dont know but he wont fight me in a ring

Are you being serious on twitter? Sometimes I actually can't tell.


Everyone is always serious on Twitter. Next question.

yes loosen up people

I saw you this summer in Worcester, MA stumbling around wasted at 9 in the morning...was your time with the Tornadoes that bad?

i dont get up that early

So MMA? You still want to fight some more? Are you training at all?

love to fight still training wish i could grt bud selig in a ring

What was it like being on The Simpsons? Any stories you can share from that experience?

they had me with blonde hair when my hair is dark brown

Will you be making more of your amazing paintings?

yes they r for sale i will be doing one of me naked soon


yes but they make my 9 inch cock look like 12 inches,opticle illusion

You were always my favorite player as a kid, so when the Red Sox signed you as their DH in 1995 I was on cloud 9. I was so excited about the strike being over, and #33 playing for the Red Sox my dad saved up to take me to my first trip to Fenway (coming all the way from Maine!). First time ever at a major league ballpark, and the first thing I did was buy a Jose Canseco t-shirt.

Last year, I relayed this story to you via twitter (condensed for 140 characters) and asked for a birthday shout out. You responded and it still makes me grin like an idiot when I think about it.

I just wanted to say, that despite the PED's you are still one of my favorite athletes of all time. Even though your career in Boston was a scant 2 seasons, I'll always remember them as special.

thank u buddy

Do you think steroid users should be allowed in the hall of fame?

yes of course

How was working with the Simpsons cast and crew? Homer At Bat is one of my favorite episodes and I heard in the commentary that you were really difficult to work with. Is there another side to that? Do you think you were being difficult? Also, is it true you refused to do the lines the writers originally wrote for you and made them change the scene to you saving the baby, dog, and furniture from a burning house?

people create so many lies about me its incredible.well wait i did tell a producer one time i wouldnt bang his wife while he was watching.maybe thats y

How do we know this is you and not your twin brother?

you dont

How much would you say steroids actually enhance your performance?

its impossible to tell no wat of measuring it

Exactly how small did your nuts/dick become after abusing steriods?

my nuts shrunk but my penis grew

What do you think of this Jim Nantz quote about steroids in golf? Are there sports where PEDs aren't associated with them but you believe them to be prevalent?

I would be shocked if there's anybody in professional golf doing that. Shocked. You hear, "They're hitting it so far." But golfers are not cheats. The guys up on the pedestal in our sport play by the rules. That's unusual in our society. It's beautiful… there's not a scandal and there's not going to be one. We should not even breathe a hint of suspicion; it's a nonissue.

steroids r in every sport even bowling

Tiger Woods has been linked to PED's on more than one occasion.

i heard that but have no info on him,but hes the man


shit bud selig of course


brad what a bad boy u have become

Hey Jose,

Would you ever consider getting back into the MMA ring/cage again following your 2009 fight against Hong Man Choi?

Are you still training MMA or any of the traditional martial arts?

Thanks for the AMA!

would love to fight again set it up

Would you rather take a fastball to the nuts or have to sleep with Madonna now?

punch her in her nuts

I have to be honest, I don't care about your baseball career or the steroid allegations.

I just want to know what you were thinking when you accepted the fight with Hong Man Choi for the Super Hulk Tournament in DREAM at 44 years old with no professional fights to your name. That has been a really weird thing to me for long after I watched that. I didn't/still don't understand why you chose to accept THAT fight.

What was your gameplan going into that, try to keep the distance and wear him down with kicks?

Are you planning on making another foray into MMA, or was that one appearance good enough?

my game plan was to stay alive that man is huge

How can we really be sure this is you and not Ozzie?

it could be god talking to u for all u know

How meaningful was it when Jim Carrey screamed "I'm Jose Canseco!" in Liar Liar?

He could have screamed many other names when he thought of playing baseball with his kid.

hes a big fan of mine plus we had a threesome together

What are your thoughts of chewing tobacco in baseball?


What size bat did you use in '89? Looked like a branch!

it was 36 lenth 38 ounces

I've heard that you are a poker player. Can you talk about how long you've been playing? Any crazy home games you've been invited to? Got any generally crazy poker/gambling stories?

been playiing for 30 years .love strip poker i cheat and win

How embarrassed were you after the "homerun that hit your head" ordeal?

laughing my ass off

Hey Jose, what are your top 5 favorite movies?

ten commandments

Has the use of steroids had any effect on your sex life?

i dont know i still have sex 5 times a day with 7 different objects,lol

This interview was transcribed from an "ask me anything" question and answer session with Jose Canseco conducted on Reddit on 2013-04-18. The Reddit AMA can be found here.