Jerry Seinfeld

June 8, 2016

Hi, I’m Jerry Seinfeld and welcome to my third AMA!

The 8th Season of CCC premieres next Thursday, June 16th on Crackle and Until then, here’s a short preview of what we have in store, with guests John Oliver, Margaret Cho, Jim Gaffigan, Lorne Michaels, JB Smoove, and Judd Apatow:

Reddit is here to help me. I love to answer audience questions – it’s how I close a lot of my stand-up shows. In the first and second AMAs, I was asked questions I’ve never been asked before, which doesn’t happen very often.

Ok redditors, what can I tell you?



Edit: Thanks Reddit, this was fun. I am officially AMN: Ask Me Nothing

What is your least favourite car that you have owned?

Least favorite...I once had a Cadillac Escalade in a very metallic beige, and the color made me sick. I liked the Escalade, but a car must be in a good color, or it's useless.

Hi Jerry! Do you celebrate Festivus in real life?

Not necessary, I air my grievances everyday

What is your relationship with Larry David like today?

Our relationship is great. We have dinner, talk on the phone, and laugh as we always have.

Will we ever see a 959 on CCC?

That's an interesting idea. Very exotic, cool car. Can't think of a comedian high-tech enough though!

Are we ever going to see a Bee Movie 2?

I considered it this spring for a solid six hours. There's a fantastic energy now for some reason, on the internet particularly. Tumblr, people brought my attention to. I actually did consider it, but then I realized it would make Bee Movie 1 less iconic. But my kids want me to do it, a lot of people want me to do it. A lot of people that don't know what animation is want me to do it. If you have any idea what animation is, you'd never do it.

Jerry, you're the man! I'll do my first open mic soon and I'm wondering how do you organize and develop your material and various jokes? Do you have notebooks full of detailed notes and jokes, or do you just sketch them out and wing it on stage?

I believe in detailed notes and jokes, and also winging it onstage. But, not for your first open mic. For your first open mic, my advice to you would be to make sure you have what you're gonna do memorized, to the point that one of your friends can gently slap you across the face, and you'll still be able to get it out of your mouth.

Hi Jerry, not that you've run out of people to have coffee with, but have you entertained the idea of doing new episodes with previous guests?

We actually have just begun to entertain that idea. I'm kinda feeling like CCC should have that Carson feeling of Charles Nelson Riley coming on repeatedly, and it kinda becomes a little club that you have to get into. So yeah, I think we are gonna do it like that. It's never going to be six unknowns in a season.

How do you take your coffee? You seem to drink a lot of it in Seinfeld and Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.

I place no limit on the amount coffee I can drink. I allow myself an infinite amount and I like it hot with cream. Sometimes cappuccino, sometimes americana, but nothing fancier than that

Hi Jerry. How come you don't do movies? You're amazing. Hope all is well

Hope all is well with you too! I don't do movies because I think generally the size of that content does not lend itself to great comedy; it lends itself to people saying, "Hey, I made a movie." To me, the funniest things are shorter, so I think TV series or comedians in cars, I think I have a better chance of making you laugh.

Jerry, I love the show, especially all the trips through the Hudson Valley and West Connecticut. What's your favorite drive through South NY or West Connecticut?

The best drive, of course, is the Taconic, other then that anything in Westchester off the main highway is pretty good. I just love driving honestly, I don't really care where I am.

What are some of the phrases you still use from "Seinfeld?"

I still say "hey" to greet a lot of people like we did on the show, and I still will do thumbs up, like Kramer did. And I still say hello to people the way I said, "Hello Newman."

Hi Jerry, I'm an avid cereal fan. What's your favorite cereal?

I will say Raisin Bran Crunch, but that's just for today.

Any behind-the-scenes story you can tell us about the President Obama CCC Episode? Seemed like a lot of fun.

That was the most fun I ever had. The coolest part of that episode, that you couldn't see, was the head of the secret service explaining to me what was going to happen if someone started shooting at us. What they would do to the president and where they were going to throw me in the back of a van. That was really exciting Bourne Identity stuff.

Hello....... Jerry. What, if anything, did you take from the Seinfeld set?

I actually have quite a bit of it, and we're looking for a museum that wants to display it. I have the couch, I have the two blue stools, I have the table and chairs; the coolest thing I have is the door, which we never repainted in nine seasons. It has every scuff mark that Kramer put on it with all those crazy entrances.

Hey Jerry. I'm studying for the bar exam. Any advice?

Turn off your computer right now.

Hi Jerry,

Who is your favorite Mets player of all-time?

Tommie Agee, Number 20.

Who is your current favorite comedian?

Right now I'm really binging on Sebastian Maniscalco, and Brian Regan.

Which dead comedians would you have liked to have on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee?

There's tons of those. Chaplain, George Burns, George Carlin, Joan Rivers...

Believe it or not, the idea has been explored to do some kind of CGI effect, using footage of dead comedians to get them in the car, and then we would write dialog around it. It was a total disaster, but you're not the first person to think of it!

Hi Jerry,

Is it true that you have never sworn once in any of your stand up acts?

First comment, they’re called sets. Period. I did swear a little bit in the beginning and then I didn't like how easy it was. It felt like cheating, so I stopped.

Who has been the funniest comedian besides yourself on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee?

"Funniest" is completely personal. Whoever you think is funniest, is funniest. For me, I've really enjoyed all of them, honestly. There's something different, or weird, or interesting that seems to happen every time.

Did you know Garry Shandling had serious health issues when you had him on the show? It was a lovely nostalgic episode, particularly wonderful that you made it with hindsight.

I don't think he did have serious health issues at that time. We certainly wouldn't have made all those death jokes if we knew that. But it was really wonderful that we got to be together that one last time.

What was your favorite childhood book?

When I was in first grade on the last day of school, Mrs. Stafford, our teacher, said, "I want to give out a special present today, to a kid in the class who has tried so hard to improve his handwriting." And she's going through this whole speech about this kid; I'm staring at this kid that I knew that she liked, and I just hated him, and I was getting more and more angry. And then at the end, she said it was me! The present was a Dr. Seuss book, The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins, that I have since thrown out. But I remember it was in purple cellophane wrapping, and I still consider it the greatest honor to have received that gift. So, that was my favorite book.

Do you have a joke that you're the most proud of because you invented it?

Is there a joke you wish you made yourself?

I think the best Seinfeld episode idea I ever contributed was that George pretending to be a marine biologist would find Kramer's golf ball in the blowhole of the whale. Believe it or not, we were doing both of those stories without seeing any connection that Kramer was gonna hit golf balls at the beach, and George was gonna be pretending to be a marine biologist. And it was in the middle of the week that it suddenly hit me of a way to connect the two stories.

So, I think that's probably the best joke I ever thought of on the series. But, I love when people say "regift" or "giddyup", or "yadda yadda". The real and spectacular...I was a very big fan of the show.

Your interviews on CCC always manage to be insightful while still being friendly and informal. What's a good question that any old schmo can use in conversation with a friend, or a new acquaintance, to draw them out that way?

The sad truth is, people are only interested in themselves. So, if you just ask them what they are doing or what’s going on or how they feel, they generally go on for hours. I read in an article recently that you should ask people what's challenging them these days and that really sparks them. So ask them that...and then run!

Every time I've seen a video of you talking about the art (science?) of being funny, it's some of the most fascinating insight into the human psyche I've ever heard. I think I enjoy hearing you talk shop more than your actual stand-up (no offense meant). Have you ever considered doing a TED Talk on the subject, or a more technical book on the subtle things that go into being a funny person?

EDIT: A bunch of people asking me for specific videos. Check these out:

A short one:

A really long one:

Believe it or not, this is something I think about a lot. I have often wondered if there's a way to teach being funny or comedy, and George Stephanopoulos actually got me wound up enough at one point that we were going to contact, I think his name was Lee Bollinger, the president of Columbia, and we were gonna go in there, and I was going to teach a course on comedy. Because I know a lot about it, but I just don't know if it's teachable. I'm still wrestling with the idea if you can teach someone to be funny.

Are you ever flipping channels at home, see "Seinfeld" is on, and watch it?

I don't, but I do consider it for a split second and then I go "I can't do it." It's like watching your home movies, it's just me watching me. It's weird, don't you think?

What is your favorite movie you've starred in and why was it Bee Movie?

Bee Movie was definitely my favorite movie that I've starred in, because I've always wanted to be a bee. They seem to have the most organized society on earth, and they make honey! Which is a pretty amazing product.

Hey Jerome. I just saw you perform live in Reading, PA a few weeks ago. What the hell were you doing in Reading, PA?

I was just there for the one night to do my favorite thing in my life, which is standup comedy. You, on the other hand, have chosen to spend your entire life in Reading, shouldn't I really be asking you what the hell are you doing in Reading?

hi jerry, what tv shows do you watch? thanks

Really enjoying Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. I like Bill Maher. Other than that it's all baseball.

Thanks for doing another AMA! I'm in the middle of Judd's book, Sick in the Head. You're mentioned a lot by other comedians as a mentor and someone who gives a lot of great advice. What's the most iconic (or important) piece of information you've ever received in regards to your life/career? What was the context in which you received it?

First, that is not a correct usage for the word "iconic". Advice cannot be iconic.

The best advice I ever got was from Rodney Dangerfield, who when I asked him a question about something in comedy, just looked at me for a second and then went, "You'll figure it out."

Jerry as someone who watched your show religiously, I've always felt a true connection between the crew to truly make the characters come alive. Its as if I was watching my best friends live right in front of me. Thank you for your show, the laughs, and more importantly the memories. That being said, how often do you hear from everyone? Do you guys keep in touch? Thanks!

Why are the memories more important to you than the show and the laughs? I think the laughs are the most important part. But if you prefer to just remember the laughs, then have the laughs. That's your business!

I do often talk to the cast, but not as often as when we were doing the show. Remember when you were in high school? Remember those people? It's like that.

Hi Jerry! What is the real story behind the appearance and reference of Superman in Seinfeld?

Larry David and I discovered that we were both obsessed with superman and admired him and also found him very funny at the same time, so that is why he came up a lot. Are you related to the hot dog Kobayashi in Coney Island?

Are there any jokes that you love to tell but audiences never quite get it?

We have a new episode of Comedians in Cars coming out with Jim Gaffigan, who I love, and in the episode I tell him about this joke I tried to do about, when you drop your dry cleaning off, you can go to any dry cleaner you want, but when you pick it up, you can only go to one. Which I always thought was very funny, but nobody gets it.

Mr. Seinfeld, how has the bee movie impacted your daily life?

Hi, glad to talk to another bee fan. What the bees can teach us is that no matter how small your job is, if you do it well, it makes a big difference. Why don't you go back to your job?

What's it like to be a meme?

It makes me feel very small and repetitive. [laughing]

My friends and I ate some magic mushrooms and came up with a pretty good Seinfeld plot called "The Non-Sitter". Would you like to hear the basic plot line?

Edit: Crap! Got super busy at work and missed him!

Edit 2: I've added it to Jerry's response.

Sure, moron. Let's hear what you got.

You're a very obvious Jew. How has anti-semitism affected your career? How does this make you feel?

It really hasn't been a problem, until now. [laughing]

Hi Jerry! Longtime fan!

Simple Question; What is your favorite Seinfeld episode and why?

I liked the ones that I was in. I felt I brought a certain something to it.

I have a lot of favorite episodes. The pothole, the marine biologist, the yadda yadda, the Soup Nazi, the contest.

What's your lucky number?

My lucky numbers are 9, 5, 18, 54, and 32.

This interview was transcribed from an "ask me anything" question and answer session with Jerry Seinfeld conducted on Reddit on 2016-06-08. The Reddit AMA can be found here.